The Curse of the Male Feminist

In an era where gender equality has become a global rallying cry, the rise of male feminists seems like a step in the right direction. Men aligning themselves with feminism, advocating for equal rights, and challenging patriarchal norms is undeniably a good thing—on the surface. However, beneath the applause lies a growing discomfort with the phenomenon. Why? Because too often, the male feminist trope veers into something less noble: performative allyship, unchecked privilege, and, sometimes, outright betrayal of the cause they claim to support.

What Is a Male Feminist?

At its core, a male feminist is someone who supports gender equality and actively advocates for dismantling systemic barriers that oppress women and marginalized genders. True male feminists use their privilege to challenge toxic masculinity, advocate for equity in all spheres of life, and amplify the voices of women without centering themselves.

But the ideal doesn’t always match reality. Instead, the "male feminist" label has been co-opted by some as a tool for personal gain, a shield against criticism, or, worse, a mask to hide predatory behavior.

Performative Allyship: The Pitfall of Male Feminism

Performative allyship refers to supporting a cause for optics rather than genuine commitment. For some men, labeling themselves as feminists has become a way to appear progressive, gain social credibility, or even attract women. These self-proclaimed feminists often fail to challenge their own biases or actively work toward meaningful change.

Examples abound:

  1. Taking Up Space: Male feminists who dominate conversations about gender equality, sidelining the voices of the women they claim to support.
  2. Avoiding Accountability: Using the feminist label to deflect criticism, assuming that their alignment with the movement exempts them from scrutiny.
  3. Virtue Signaling: Publicly supporting feminist causes while privately engaging in behavior that contradicts those values.

When Male Feminism Turns Toxic

Unfortunately, some male feminists use the label as a façade to manipulate or exploit others. High-profile cases of male feminists accused of harassment, abuse, or hypocrisy have shaken the feminist movement and underscored the danger of uncritical acceptance of allies.

This phenomenon isn’t just damaging to individuals; it undermines the movement as a whole. When male feminists betray the trust of the communities they claim to support, it perpetuates the very power dynamics feminism seeks to dismantle.

How Male Feminists Can Truly Support the Movement

The problem isn’t men identifying as feminists—it’s how they approach it. Feminism benefits from male allies who are committed to the cause, but allyship requires humility, accountability, and continuous self-reflection. Here’s how male feminists can avoid falling into the trap of performative allyship:

  1. Listen More, Speak Less: Amplify women’s voices without centering yourself in the conversation.
  2. Do the Work: Educate yourself on feminist theory and the lived experiences of women without expecting them to teach you.
  3. Challenge Other Men: Use your privilege to call out toxic masculinity and misogyny in your circles.
  4. Hold Yourself Accountable: Recognize and address your own biases, and accept criticism without defensiveness.
  5. Avoid Using Feminism for Personal Gain: Allyship is about the movement, not your reputation or social standing.

Reclaiming Trust in the Movement

The curse of the male feminist lies in the gap between intention and action. Feminism doesn’t need men who wear the label like a badge of honor—it needs allies who are willing to do the hard, unglamorous work of dismantling systems of oppression.

To rebuild trust, male feminists must approach the movement with sincerity, humility, and a commitment to continuous growth. Feminism is not a trend or a tool for personal gain; it’s a call to action, and men must step into it with genuine purpose.

In the end, the feminist movement doesn’t need more self-proclaimed male feminists. It needs men who are willing to be allies in the truest sense of the word—partners in the fight for equality, even when it means giving up their own comfort and privilege.

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Comments

  1. Every geeky woman I know has met that man who feeds off of her insecurities, who claims he’s a feminist while behaving in the opposite manner. Many of us have been maltreated or abused by this kind of nerdy, self-proclaimed male feminist.
    Hugs to all feeling triggered right now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. “the curse of the male feminist” i swear every sex worker could’ve told you about these men

    ReplyDelete

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