Not Every Single Woman Has a Scary Story About a Man? Yes, They Do. I Promise You They Do.
Why Acknowledging This Matters
Dismissing women’s experiences—or arguing that “not every woman has a story”—invalidates the pervasive reality of gendered harm. It also allows harmful behaviors to continue unchecked.
- It Gaslights Women’s Experiences: Suggesting that women are exaggerating or that their stories aren’t universal perpetuates the myth that the problem isn’t systemic.
- It Shifts Accountability: When the focus is on defending men or questioning women’s experiences, we lose sight of the behaviors that need to change.
- It Silences Conversations: Women who feel invalidated or doubted are less likely to speak out, allowing the cycle to continue.
What Can We Do Instead?
The goal isn’t to instill fear but to foster awareness, empathy, and change. Here’s how:
1. Believe Women
When a woman shares her story, listen without questioning or minimizing her experience.
2. Recognize the Systemic Issue
This isn’t about individual “bad men” but about a culture that enables harmful behaviors through silence, normalization, and complicity.
3. Encourage Conversations About Boundaries
Teach and normalize healthy boundaries from a young age. Everyone benefits when consent and respect are foundational values.
4. Call Out Problematic Behavior
Men, in particular, have a role to play in challenging harmful behaviors they witness among their peers. Accountability starts within communities.
Conclusion
Every woman has a story. It may not always be dramatic or life-threatening, but it’s there—a moment of discomfort, fear, or vulnerability shaped by systemic gender dynamics. Denying this reality doesn’t make the problem go away; it only perpetuates it.
Instead of debating whether these stories exist, we must focus on why they’re so common and how we can create a world where they no longer are. Because no woman should have to live with “what if” as a constant companion.
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- Bank Name: Stanbic Bank Zambia
- Account Name: Carol Phiri
- Account Number: 9130006654278
- Airtel Money: Carol Phiri
- 260972366581
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I will never understand this sudden shock as if I weren’t told my entire life “don’t go with strangers” “boys only want one thing” “be careful walking to your car at night” etc etc etc
ReplyDeleteYes. Every woman has at least one scary story about a man. Varying degrees yes. But we all have at least one.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually true that not every single woman has *a* scary story about a man.
ReplyDeleteAlmost all of us have many stories. The odds of having just the one are vanishingly small.
Every woman you know has taken a longer route.
ReplyDeleteHas doubled back on herself.
Has pretended to dawdle by a shop window.
Has held her keys in her hand.
Has made a fake phone call.
Has rounded a corner & run.
Every woman you know has walked home scared.
Every woman u know
If they claim they don’t, they were conditioned to believe their bad behavior is acceptable.
ReplyDeleteYes we all do….. we may not tell everyone about it but we definitely have stories we could tell.
ReplyDeleteYes we do.
ReplyDeleteWomen who say they don’t are so used to it that they don’t even know.
If you think they don't, it only means that they don't trust you enough to tell you.
ReplyDelete