Not Every Single Woman Has a Scary Story About a Man? Yes, They Do. I Promise You They Do.

Why Acknowledging This Matters

Dismissing women’s experiences—or arguing that “not every woman has a story”—invalidates the pervasive reality of gendered harm. It also allows harmful behaviors to continue unchecked.

  1. It Gaslights Women’s Experiences: Suggesting that women are exaggerating or that their stories aren’t universal perpetuates the myth that the problem isn’t systemic.
  2. It Shifts Accountability: When the focus is on defending men or questioning women’s experiences, we lose sight of the behaviors that need to change.
  3. It Silences Conversations: Women who feel invalidated or doubted are less likely to speak out, allowing the cycle to continue.

What Can We Do Instead?

The goal isn’t to instill fear but to foster awareness, empathy, and change. Here’s how:

1. Believe Women

When a woman shares her story, listen without questioning or minimizing her experience.

2. Recognize the Systemic Issue

This isn’t about individual “bad men” but about a culture that enables harmful behaviors through silence, normalization, and complicity.

3. Encourage Conversations About Boundaries

Teach and normalize healthy boundaries from a young age. Everyone benefits when consent and respect are foundational values.

4. Call Out Problematic Behavior

Men, in particular, have a role to play in challenging harmful behaviors they witness among their peers. Accountability starts within communities.

Conclusion

Every woman has a story. It may not always be dramatic or life-threatening, but it’s there—a moment of discomfort, fear, or vulnerability shaped by systemic gender dynamics. Denying this reality doesn’t make the problem go away; it only perpetuates it.

Instead of debating whether these stories exist, we must focus on why they’re so common and how we can create a world where they no longer are. Because no woman should have to live with “what if” as a constant companion.

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How to Donate

To support The Catalyst Collective, you can make a direct deposit using the banking details or mobile money below: 

- Bank Name: Stanbic Bank Zambia 

- Account Name: Carol Phiri 

- Account Number: 9130006654278 

- Airtel Money: Carol Phiri

- 260972366581

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Every contribution matters and brings us one step closer to achieving our mission. Thank you for believing in our vision and for standing with us as we create positive change. Let’s build a better tomorrow—together!

Comments

  1. I will never understand this sudden shock as if I weren’t told my entire life “don’t go with strangers” “boys only want one thing” “be careful walking to your car at night” etc etc etc

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. Every woman has at least one scary story about a man. Varying degrees yes. But we all have at least one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's actually true that not every single woman has *a* scary story about a man.

    Almost all of us have many stories. The odds of having just the one are vanishingly small.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Every woman you know has taken a longer route.
    Has doubled back on herself.
    Has pretended to dawdle by a shop window.
    Has held her keys in her hand.
    Has made a fake phone call.
    Has rounded a corner & run.
    Every woman you know has walked home scared.
    Every woman u know

    ReplyDelete
  5. If they claim they don’t, they were conditioned to believe their bad behavior is acceptable.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes we all do….. we may not tell everyone about it but we definitely have stories we could tell.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes we do.
    Women who say they don’t are so used to it that they don’t even know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. If you think they don't, it only means that they don't trust you enough to tell you.

    ReplyDelete

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