The "I Can’t Pay the Mortgage This Month" TikTok Trend: A Warning About Financial Abuse

TikTok trends often blend humour with relatable struggles, and the “I can’t pay the mortgage this month” videos are no exception. On the surface, these videos—where women jokingly announce financial struggles to prompt partners to step in—might seem like harmless fun. However, this seemingly lighthearted trend has darker implications when viewed through the lens of financial literacy and power dynamics in relationships.

For women who lack a clear understanding of their mortgages or finances, this trend can unintentionally highlight vulnerabilities that could lead to financial abuse. Here’s why:

---

What Is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse is a form of control where one partner manipulates or restricts the other’s access to financial resources, leaving them dependent or powerless. While often subtle, it can escalate to situations where a victim loses their autonomy over critical decisions, including housing and finances.

---

How the Trend Links to Financial Abuse

1. Knowledge Gaps and Dependence

Many women may not have a detailed understanding of their mortgage terms, monthly payments, or ownership status. When they defer financial matters to a partner, they risk becoming dependent. This trend—whether joking or not—can inadvertently normalize relying on a partner to “bail them out.”

Such dependence can make women more vulnerable to financial abuse. For instance, a partner who controls the mortgage payment could use that control to threaten eviction or manipulate behavior.

2. Cultural Normalisation

TikTok trends can influence cultural attitudes. By portraying financial struggles as a cue for a partner to “save the day,” the trend risks reinforcing traditional power dynamics, where one partner has disproportionate financial authority. This dynamic can pave the way for exploitative or abusive behaviors over time.

3. Red Flags in Relationships

If a partner responds to financial struggles by taking over finances entirely, it could signal the beginnings of financial control. For example:

- Limiting access to joint accounts.

- Restricting knowledge of payment schedules or mortgage terms.

- Using finances as leverage in arguments.

---

Why Financial Literacy Matters

Financial independence starts with financial knowledge. Women who understand their mortgages—interest rates, payment schedules, ownership terms, and potential penalties—are better equipped to maintain autonomy.

A lack of financial literacy can result in:

- Signing unfavorable agreements without full understanding.

- Missing red flags in financial decisions.

- Becoming vulnerable to manipulation during conflicts or separations.

---

How to Protect Yourself

1. Learn the Basics

- Understand your mortgage: Know your interest rate, monthly payment, loan duration, and any penalties for late payments.

- Access shared accounts: Ensure you have access to financial documents and accounts tied to the mortgage.

2. Build Financial Independence

- Create a personal emergency fund.

- Regularly review financial documents to stay informed.

3. Recognise Warning Signs of Financial Abuse

- A partner refusing to share financial information.

- Feeling pressured to sign agreements you don’t understand.

- Being excluded from major financial decisions.

4. Seek Support if Necessary

Organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (in the U.S.) offer resources and support for individuals experiencing financial abuse. Legal aid organizations can also help clarify financial rights in a partnership.

---

The Bottom Line

While the “I can’t pay the mortgage this month” trend may seem humorous, it underscores a critical issue: the importance of financial awareness. For women, understanding their financial situation isn’t just about independence—it’s a safeguard against potential abuse.

By empowering themselves with knowledge, women can ensure that a viral TikTok moment doesn’t become a real-life vulnerability.

---

Here are some excellent resources and organizations focused on building financial literacy and addressing financial abuse:

National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE): NEFE offers free, research-based programs to help individuals improve their financial skills and decision-making. They focus on personal finance fundamentals, including budgeting, saving, and understanding credit. Learn more at [NEFE](https://www.nefe.org).

National Financial Educators Council (NFEC): NFEC provides tools, curriculum, and training programs specifically tailored to women, focusing on debt management, savings, and financial independence. Their Certified Financial Education Instructor program is also an excellent resource for community leaders aiming to teach financial literacy.

Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement (WISER): This organisation is dedicated to educating women on financial security through retirement planning, understanding Social Security, and navigating divorce-related financial challenges. Visit [WISER](https://www.wiserwomen.org) for more details.

Annuity.org: Offers extensive resources on financial literacy tailored to women, covering topics such as retirement planning, home ownership, and managing debt. They provide actionable insights into overcoming the financial challenges women face, such as pay inequity and longer life expectancies.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: For those experiencing financial abuse, this hotline offers resources, safety planning, and referrals to organisations specialising in economic empowerment for survivors. Visit [The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org) for assistance.

The Allstate Foundation – Purple Purse: Focused on financial abuse within the context of domestic violence, this program provides resources to help survivors achieve financial independence. More details can be found at Purple Purse.

Women’s World Banking: Works globally to provide women access to financial tools and education, emphasising empowerment and economic independence. Visit Women’s World Banking.

Each of these platforms offers valuable tools and guidance for both improving financial literacy and recognizing the signs of financial abuse. By leveraging these resources, women can gain the knowledge needed to protect their financial independence and security.

---

How to Donate

To support The Catalyst Collective, you can make a direct deposit using the banking details below: 

- Bank Name: Stanbic Bank Zambia 

- Account Name: Carol Phiri 

- Account Number: 9130006654278 

---

Every contribution matters and brings us one step closer to achieving our mission. Thank you for believing in our vision and for standing with us as we create positive change. Let’s build a better tomorrow—together!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Women in Kenya Marched on December 10, 2024

Image
On December 10, 2024, thousands of Kenyan women and allies took to the streets in a powerful display of resistance against the alarming rates of femicide and gender-based violence (GBV) in the country. This protest marked one of the largest feminist demonstrations in Kenya's history, with over 20,000 participants rallying for justice, accountability, and systemic change. The Alarming Context Kenya has witnessed a troubling rise in femicide and GBV cases in recent years. Reports indicate that over 500 femicides occurred between 2019 and 2023, with numerous cases going unreported due to societal stigma and inadequate legal protections. In 2024 alone, over a dozen high-profile cases, including the murder of women in rented accommodations, sparked public outrage and became the tipping point for this movement. Key Demands of the Protesters The marchers presented a clear set of demands aimed at addressing the systemic failures contributing to GBV: Justice for Victims : Protesters called ...
Read more

Exploring the Complexities of Lily Phillips' Documentary

Image
In December 2024, OnlyFans creator Lily Phillips released a documentary titled  I Slept With 100 Men in One Day , chronicling her experience of engaging with 100 men within a single day to produce content for her platform.  People The documentary provides an intimate look into Phillips' journey, capturing moments of emotional vulnerability. In one scene, she reflects on the experience, expressing feelings of disassociation and the challenge of recalling individual encounters. She states, "In my head right now, I can think of like five, six guys, 10 guys that I remember and that’s it. But it’s just weird, isn’t it? If I didn’t have the videos, I wouldn’t have known I've done 100."  People Phillips' endeavor has sparked significant debate. Critics argue that such acts may perpetuate harmful stereotypes and raise concerns about the commodification of intimacy. Feminist writer Julie Bindel cautions against celebrating Phillips as an "icon of sexual liberation,...
Read more

Motherhood: Unpacking the Silence and Breaking the Myths

Image
For centuries, motherhood has been idealized, romanticized, and placed on a pedestal as the ultimate role for women. Society conditions girls from an early age to see motherhood as a natural and inevitable aspiration—dolls in cradles, play kitchens, and endless narratives about maternal fulfillment reinforce the idea that to be a woman is to be a mother. But not every woman dreams of being a mother. In fact, many who do become mothers find themselves grappling with a stark truth: motherhood isn’t the natural, fulfilling experience they were told it would be. It’s time to create space for these voices—women who openly critique motherhood and challenge the myths surrounding it. Motherhood Isn’t “Natural” to Every Woman The narrative that motherhood is innate to women is deeply ingrained, but it is also deeply flawed. Motherhood is not biologically, emotionally, or psychologically natural to every woman. The assumption that women are biologically wired to desire children ignores the compl...
Read more